Sunday, July 18, 2010
Hello World
So, as typically happens in life, things get crazy. I have assumed the responsibility of assistant campaign manager for a NC House race in southern Wake County. As you can imagine, it's very time consuming. I promise, the book will not die and I plan on working on it whenever possible. However, the posts will be sporadic, although I hope you continue to follow the blog. I value of of your inputs, and hope to share more of the story with you in the weeks to come.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Day 4
It'll certainly be an exciting next couple of years for advances in genetics. It's the next big thing. Imagine everyone being smarter for no reason other than the fact that we've been able to pick the best genetic material out there. No more down syndrome or maybe even the eradication of cancer. It'll be an age to test the limits of humans, letting us be all we can imagine ourselves to be. It's slowly started already. Just look at universities around the world. Students there are taking ADD and ADHD medications already to focus themselves and allow them to power through nights full of assignments. It's crazy to think such little pills can make someone sit in a library for twelve hours straight and just pump out work after work. I'm guessing the first thing you see happen with a lot of those medicines is they become over-the-counters instead of prescriptions. That'll be the first step and a necessary one, especially if we're going to offset the negative aspects of having genetically different generations. Those who either can't afford the new genetic screening and selection for their offspring will have to have cheap pharmaceuticals that will enhance their possible performance to be on the same level as people who are genetically the best of their parents.
It's not too far-fetched. A lot of air forces around the world allow their pilots to use these kinds of drugs to stay awake for long missions and increase performance. It's the age of enhancement, all we need to do is make sure the opportunities for enhancement are equally available to everyone. If we can make people work twice as efficiently with half the energy then we've really done a service to the world. Imagine only having to work a twenty hour work week. We could spend so much more time solving the world's problems with the extra hours of work we put in without having to have more people. The evils of our age could be fought by the brightest people amongst us. We would be able to accomplish what needs to be done to obtain the lifestyle we want and then move on to tackle cancer, AIDS, and world hunger. All in time for lunch.
It's not too far-fetched. A lot of air forces around the world allow their pilots to use these kinds of drugs to stay awake for long missions and increase performance. It's the age of enhancement, all we need to do is make sure the opportunities for enhancement are equally available to everyone. If we can make people work twice as efficiently with half the energy then we've really done a service to the world. Imagine only having to work a twenty hour work week. We could spend so much more time solving the world's problems with the extra hours of work we put in without having to have more people. The evils of our age could be fought by the brightest people amongst us. We would be able to accomplish what needs to be done to obtain the lifestyle we want and then move on to tackle cancer, AIDS, and world hunger. All in time for lunch.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Day 3
Well, it's been great chatting with you. I'll have to stop in the next time I get to be in Germany. That sounds great. I'll keep an eye out for you here. Ah, look, here's another customer for you. No, I'm just about to leave. Plus this is the best bartender here tonight, so you can't go wrong sitting here.
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Hey, long time no see huh. I know, I said I wasn't going to be back for a while, but my flight's been delayed. Go figure, but it's a good excuse for another drink. Plus, I see that creep from earlier is gone. Men, such pigs sometimes. Oh, not you of course, but certainly him. You know, in a way I really don't mind the delays. It's just another excuse to not have to worry about work and let the firm pick up another tab of mine. I get reimbursed for dining expenses while I'm out, so I have no problem tipping you generously, it's not my dime. Exactly, great job, but it always comes with its price. I had to work my up the attorney chain to get the good perks, so I've done my time. This is what you get for ten years of slaving away in the corporate world.
No, sadly it's not all great perks, even with becoming a partner. We've got a ridiculous case going on right now, but I'm confident we'll win it. Some online company is trying to sue a bunch of search engines for using their photos whenever people search terms that would link you to those photos. The company is saying it's putting their business at risk, but I'm not too worried about the case. The Supreme Court has already heard something similar. It's a real mess out there in the legal world though. All this crap with copyrights when it comes to internet use. We're using precedents that are hundreds of years old and trying to apply them to technology that's only been around for a few years, it gets pretty messy.
The company has some legitimate concerns. They sell a lot of artwork, so the fears aren't completely unsubstantiated. There's probably a percentage of people that blow-up the online image and turn around and sell it as a print. I doubt it's too much though. You've got to remember how many unique customers are being brought in because of these search engines. Customers that would have never discovered a particular piece of artwork without these search engines. So in a way this company is throwing a hissy-fit even though they're getting free advertising that would cost them thousands. I think they just need to sit back and be happy they're getting an increase in customers. Not to mention, we're going to destroy them in the case. You've got the biggest search engines in the world going against one little art print store. It's almost not fair.
No, I completely understand, it is pretty awful, but that's how the law works. It's us versus them, and if you can hire more lawyers then who you're up against and spend more time looking up precedents and going up with solid interpretations of laws, you're going to win. It really doesn't have anything to do with who's wrong or right, or who's actually guilty. Whoever has the resources is going to win in a case, especially when it's something in civil law like this. We only have to have a majority of the evidence on our side and it's done. There's no beyond a shadow of a doubt. It'll be a cake walk, and I'm hoping it helps the whole open source movement too.
Ah, yea, open source, it's all the free use things you find on the internet. It's kind of a hobby, but it's so great. It lets people create their own little programs for others and you don't have to pay to use it. It's huge in the developing world. If you have a computer and it doesn't run a particular program, there's no need to buy something new, just fix the code yourself and you're good to go. So many big companies spend millions just trying to protect their products from smart programmers taking them apart. Think of how much more we could accomplish if instead of trying to keep all these things secret they were all publicly available! Granted, there should still probably be some protection, for a period, so you can make a profit. It's certainly a new age, and something where the old protection of intellectual property is rapidly vanishing, for good or bad.
Now one thing where copyright protection is getting scary, and brace yourself for it, life itself. There are biomedical companies that are trying to patent genes, genes! Think of it, the building blocks of life that have been around for billions of years are being copyrighted by companies that analyze the makeup of these things. It's really getting scary. Soon you may not be able to have a kid in a hospital without having to pay some company for the genes in that kid. It's just the same in agriculture, with huge companies patenting seeds. I mean sure, it's a valid point to copyright a completely synthetic genome. Stuff like vaccines and the like have been protected by copyright and patent law for decades. It's when you start claiming rights to the genes for things like the eye color brown that you're getting into trouble.
There's about to be a huge issue with how people are able to function in society. So many genetically induced disease are starting to be curable, but people are very skeptical about all of it. Most require you to change the DNA of the zygote before it's implanted in the womb, so most religious groups are completely opposed, saying we're playing God. Well I'm glad to hear you've got an open mind. I agree, it's not so much playing God as using the talents God has given us. If God didn't want us to discover gene manipulation, why allow us the technology to go about it? Besides, so far no one has tried to make unnatural things. Only improving what already exists. None of my clients try to make three headed humans, they make sure disease aren't cropping up in the genes of people. How is getting rid of the genetic risk of someone having a stroke any different from putting them on blood thinners when they're forty years old? It's the same cure for the same condition, just without a pill each and every day.
Granted, what's going to happen is inevitable. The people who are willing to allow their kids to be genetically cleared of disease are going to proper. It's such a terribly expensive procedure that only the wealthy will be able to afford it unless the government steps in and subsidizes the procedures. If you don't universal these genetic tinkerings you're going to create a new class of people, a genetic upper class. People without the removal of genetic conditions will become second class citizens in a generation or two, so once we start genetic improvements consistently we really need to push for it for everyone, if they want it. Religious issues should be the only deterrent, not economic ones. Although even a religious reason to not do so may become invalid pretty quickly. Who's to say that it's not neglect of the parents if they have the ability to cure Parkinson's Disease or Alzheimer in their children and don't. How is not wiping out those conditions any different then from a parent who refuses to help their kid when they've got a cold or a break arm. Isn't having the ability to help someone overcome a life threatening risk when you can, especially at no cost to yourself the very definition of what's ethical?
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Hey, long time no see huh. I know, I said I wasn't going to be back for a while, but my flight's been delayed. Go figure, but it's a good excuse for another drink. Plus, I see that creep from earlier is gone. Men, such pigs sometimes. Oh, not you of course, but certainly him. You know, in a way I really don't mind the delays. It's just another excuse to not have to worry about work and let the firm pick up another tab of mine. I get reimbursed for dining expenses while I'm out, so I have no problem tipping you generously, it's not my dime. Exactly, great job, but it always comes with its price. I had to work my up the attorney chain to get the good perks, so I've done my time. This is what you get for ten years of slaving away in the corporate world.
No, sadly it's not all great perks, even with becoming a partner. We've got a ridiculous case going on right now, but I'm confident we'll win it. Some online company is trying to sue a bunch of search engines for using their photos whenever people search terms that would link you to those photos. The company is saying it's putting their business at risk, but I'm not too worried about the case. The Supreme Court has already heard something similar. It's a real mess out there in the legal world though. All this crap with copyrights when it comes to internet use. We're using precedents that are hundreds of years old and trying to apply them to technology that's only been around for a few years, it gets pretty messy.
The company has some legitimate concerns. They sell a lot of artwork, so the fears aren't completely unsubstantiated. There's probably a percentage of people that blow-up the online image and turn around and sell it as a print. I doubt it's too much though. You've got to remember how many unique customers are being brought in because of these search engines. Customers that would have never discovered a particular piece of artwork without these search engines. So in a way this company is throwing a hissy-fit even though they're getting free advertising that would cost them thousands. I think they just need to sit back and be happy they're getting an increase in customers. Not to mention, we're going to destroy them in the case. You've got the biggest search engines in the world going against one little art print store. It's almost not fair.
No, I completely understand, it is pretty awful, but that's how the law works. It's us versus them, and if you can hire more lawyers then who you're up against and spend more time looking up precedents and going up with solid interpretations of laws, you're going to win. It really doesn't have anything to do with who's wrong or right, or who's actually guilty. Whoever has the resources is going to win in a case, especially when it's something in civil law like this. We only have to have a majority of the evidence on our side and it's done. There's no beyond a shadow of a doubt. It'll be a cake walk, and I'm hoping it helps the whole open source movement too.
Ah, yea, open source, it's all the free use things you find on the internet. It's kind of a hobby, but it's so great. It lets people create their own little programs for others and you don't have to pay to use it. It's huge in the developing world. If you have a computer and it doesn't run a particular program, there's no need to buy something new, just fix the code yourself and you're good to go. So many big companies spend millions just trying to protect their products from smart programmers taking them apart. Think of how much more we could accomplish if instead of trying to keep all these things secret they were all publicly available! Granted, there should still probably be some protection, for a period, so you can make a profit. It's certainly a new age, and something where the old protection of intellectual property is rapidly vanishing, for good or bad.
Now one thing where copyright protection is getting scary, and brace yourself for it, life itself. There are biomedical companies that are trying to patent genes, genes! Think of it, the building blocks of life that have been around for billions of years are being copyrighted by companies that analyze the makeup of these things. It's really getting scary. Soon you may not be able to have a kid in a hospital without having to pay some company for the genes in that kid. It's just the same in agriculture, with huge companies patenting seeds. I mean sure, it's a valid point to copyright a completely synthetic genome. Stuff like vaccines and the like have been protected by copyright and patent law for decades. It's when you start claiming rights to the genes for things like the eye color brown that you're getting into trouble.
There's about to be a huge issue with how people are able to function in society. So many genetically induced disease are starting to be curable, but people are very skeptical about all of it. Most require you to change the DNA of the zygote before it's implanted in the womb, so most religious groups are completely opposed, saying we're playing God. Well I'm glad to hear you've got an open mind. I agree, it's not so much playing God as using the talents God has given us. If God didn't want us to discover gene manipulation, why allow us the technology to go about it? Besides, so far no one has tried to make unnatural things. Only improving what already exists. None of my clients try to make three headed humans, they make sure disease aren't cropping up in the genes of people. How is getting rid of the genetic risk of someone having a stroke any different from putting them on blood thinners when they're forty years old? It's the same cure for the same condition, just without a pill each and every day.
Granted, what's going to happen is inevitable. The people who are willing to allow their kids to be genetically cleared of disease are going to proper. It's such a terribly expensive procedure that only the wealthy will be able to afford it unless the government steps in and subsidizes the procedures. If you don't universal these genetic tinkerings you're going to create a new class of people, a genetic upper class. People without the removal of genetic conditions will become second class citizens in a generation or two, so once we start genetic improvements consistently we really need to push for it for everyone, if they want it. Religious issues should be the only deterrent, not economic ones. Although even a religious reason to not do so may become invalid pretty quickly. Who's to say that it's not neglect of the parents if they have the ability to cure Parkinson's Disease or Alzheimer in their children and don't. How is not wiping out those conditions any different then from a parent who refuses to help their kid when they've got a cold or a break arm. Isn't having the ability to help someone overcome a life threatening risk when you can, especially at no cost to yourself the very definition of what's ethical?
Saturday, July 3, 2010
A Quick Update
Alright, so I've been torn between two different topics I've been wanting to pursue next in the story, thanks in large part to your input. Due to this, it's taken me longer to do my research. Unbeknown to you, each post takes me about 1-2 hours to write. However, this is only the actual writing that takes that long. Before I write I do anywhere from 1-3 hours of research. So, being torn between these two topics has carved into my writing time, so it'll be substantially later when the next post is up. Have no fear, even if it doesn't show up until after midnight tonight there will still be another post during the day tomorrow. I'm honestly getting a bit concerned about how I'm going to structure the next character too, so it'll be interesting. More in a few hours! As always, thanks for reading!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Day 2 1,826 Words
You definitely see a lot, being in a war. I never thought it would change me as much as it has, but something just clicks. You can't really put your finger on it, but one day you realize you're not the same person you were when you got off that plane. I guess it's a lot like growing up. You can't remember when you first started thinking on your own, putting thoughts together, but when you have that first thought of what might happen to you when you die you're changed forever. There's that moment where you know you're conscious and then you can't tune out your own voice in your head. It's a permanent change, and the realization you have after you've been fighting for a few weeks is just as sudden and powerful. That's when you know you'll never forget how fragile life is. That's why I promise you I enjoy this beer in my hand more than the guy down the bar. He never questioned he'd be sitting here drinking. For me, this is one extra indulgence that probably could have been snuffed out.
Sure, I'll agree with that. It is experience. Experience makes life. Everything we know is what's happened to us. If I hadn't seen, heard or felt it, I wouldn't know it had happened. Oh I know, that old saying. If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound. Well, if you know it fell I guess it has to have made a sound. Yea, I wasn't there to hear it, but that's where you've got to use other things you know to figure out it did make a sound. If this glass falls, it'll make a sound, just like a tree. If no one saw the tree, no one would have known it had fallen. It'd still be just as true, but a truth that's lost forever. So yea, basically you've got it right, what you were saying, experience is what makes us who we are.
The interesting thing with what you're saying though, is that if experience makes us who we are, then we're never the same person. I'm not the same person who just walked into this bar a few minutes ago. I have a new experience, this conversation. Hell, even biologically I guess I'm a different person eh? I've eaten some food and had a bit to drink. So there's new cells in my body and some have died or fallen off. Yea, I guess it does sound a bit weird. I hear there are plenty of theories backing it up though. All kinds of neuro-stuff where people talk about electrical impulses and synapses that control everything you do. So I guess from that perspective what I said isn't too crazy.
If you think about it though, from a more life-like example it makes sense. I walked in here and I've been talking to you, we've already some smart ass things. I guess I may not always remember this conversation but whatever I do after this was the only way my life can continue. Whether or not I walk out of here and get in a fight or find a twenty dollar bill, it was all part of me walking into this bar first. So my experience here shaped what I'm about to do. Maybe your witty little talk will make me go buy a book and I'll get a desk job in four years instead of re-enlisting. Who knows? That's definitely some great food for thought, geez, it's a good thing you guys sell food at these bars. Ha, helps with the nausea and gives a great excuse to talk about something other than what they hell I'm going to do next in a fucking desert.
Exactly, everything's just coming from another experience. Nothing comes from nothing. What was that, from high school chemistry, thermodynamics? Energy and whatnot, freakish how things just come full circle like that. Even life is like that. Babies don't just spring up outta nowhere. You say the sperm and eggs are alive too? They've just been there, from other cells and everything. I've got to admit, you're a pretty damn interesting bartender. Ah, a philosophy major. Yea, I guess there's not too much else to do with that. Hell, let me tell you, it sure beats the fuck out of worrying about getting blown to bits every night that you go to bed in a foreign country halfway around the world.
War really makes you think how weird we are as people. Everyone's always hoping for better things, but they never learn from those experiences we were just talking about. People always want something more, something better, but as soon as they get it, nope. Right back to wanting something newer, bigger, better again. I guess it's that constantly changing thing. If we're not the same person from any instant to the next, how can we expect to always want the same things. Makes sense, we change and so do the things we want. You finally get a car and a job and suddenly you're free! Then you're trying to get an apartment and suddenly you have payments due everything month, so you jump from having all these new freedoms to just letting that freedom imprison you even more.
I know I never heard anyone complain more than my parents growing up. All the expenses of having a house and family. Paying for doctors appointments and house payments. That ying-yang thing may be onto something. Opposites attract and make each other. Yea, exactly, even the deeper things in life are like that. You can't die unless you're alive and you can't live unless you've never existed. Kind of frightening stuff but you come to think about life a lot more when you could lose your's any day in my line of work. Although I heard an Afghan villager tell some of us something that was really different. I hated what he said at first, but as the days went on I ended thinking about it more. We were in a raid at a house and someone accidentally killed the villager. Someone heard a noise from a room in the house that we were checking that was supposed to have been cleared. Like I said earlier, in these situations you shoot first and then ask later. So we tossed a grenade into the room to make sure we weren't about to get pinned in a crossfire. When it was all said and done we saw it had just been the villager running from one room into another.
It was only when I saw him lying there dead that what he said really started to make an impression on me. He had said that there's nothing to fear when it comes to death. We're alive so that we can die and even if death is nothingness we still have nothing to worry about. No one stresses over all the time and things that happened before they were born, so why should we be upset about what happens when we don't exist again? The future and the past really aren't that different from one another if you take the time to think about it. Looking at the absurdity of the whole thing just made it hit home. Maybe this war was meaningless in the grand scheme of things. It didn't matter any more why we were there. I couldn't give a shit what the politicians were saying, trying to get one another elected, that didn't matter, they weren't sweating in the hundred and ten degree weather. What mattered was that this man died, doing nothing else than trying to get back to his family when he saw foreign soldiers in his house. Now he was dead and it was just as permanent and straightforward as knowing that when the clock hits midnight tonight this day will never exist again.
That's when I decided it really didn't matter if the war was pointless. I could make it worthwhile for myself. That realization that I was going to die finally really hit me. Sure, I may die there, but I could die fifty years from now too. Did the length of time I spent breathing and eating really matter? That's why I'm re-enlisting. I could die tomorrow and it's not going to change how the world goes on. What I can do is try to bring food to those Afghan families without it. I can try to stop all the opium dealers in Afghanistan selling drugs that are killing people throughout the world. So maybe soldier isn't the right title for me. Sure, I've killed people. I will probably kill people in the future too. Does that make me a murder? If I save one more person from starvation than I kill am I in the positive when I die and people decide if I was a good person? Maybe that first kill, the face no one can forget when their buddies pat them on the back from shooting down an armed insurgent, is what taints me for eternity as a villan. If so, why should I worry about it? If I've already damned myself absolutely why try to do something that's not going to reset the threshold?
There's no point to that kind of an absolutist belief. Once a murderer always a murderer is the least productive attitude anyone could have when it comes to war. If I can never be forgiven for something I've done what incentive do I have to make something positive in the world? I can't believe that kind of thing. Seeing what I've seen I have to think that as we change we're constantly able to do something different. We have that freedom to be different today then we were yesterday. It's great too. It's a freedom no one can take from us. It doesn't matter if you were in the Taliban or a school teacher. For people to think you're going to act a certain way because of what you've done is dangerous. Yea, you're completely right. It is those experiences that make me what we are. Maybe those experiences don't make us a better killer if we're soldiers though. Maybe it'll make me realize all the damage I've done in this world. Maybe my experiences can make me want to take what I've done and make it better. I've got to hope I can keep changing. After all, I wasn't born into having blood on my hands. I can see myself doing more good. Hopefully those higher ups that I have to answer to can too. Maybe one day we'll ship more books into a country than weapons. Imagine that, soldiers armed with books and not guns, giving them to children instead of taking the lives of their parents. I think that's a future we can all drink to.
Sure, I'll agree with that. It is experience. Experience makes life. Everything we know is what's happened to us. If I hadn't seen, heard or felt it, I wouldn't know it had happened. Oh I know, that old saying. If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound. Well, if you know it fell I guess it has to have made a sound. Yea, I wasn't there to hear it, but that's where you've got to use other things you know to figure out it did make a sound. If this glass falls, it'll make a sound, just like a tree. If no one saw the tree, no one would have known it had fallen. It'd still be just as true, but a truth that's lost forever. So yea, basically you've got it right, what you were saying, experience is what makes us who we are.
The interesting thing with what you're saying though, is that if experience makes us who we are, then we're never the same person. I'm not the same person who just walked into this bar a few minutes ago. I have a new experience, this conversation. Hell, even biologically I guess I'm a different person eh? I've eaten some food and had a bit to drink. So there's new cells in my body and some have died or fallen off. Yea, I guess it does sound a bit weird. I hear there are plenty of theories backing it up though. All kinds of neuro-stuff where people talk about electrical impulses and synapses that control everything you do. So I guess from that perspective what I said isn't too crazy.
If you think about it though, from a more life-like example it makes sense. I walked in here and I've been talking to you, we've already some smart ass things. I guess I may not always remember this conversation but whatever I do after this was the only way my life can continue. Whether or not I walk out of here and get in a fight or find a twenty dollar bill, it was all part of me walking into this bar first. So my experience here shaped what I'm about to do. Maybe your witty little talk will make me go buy a book and I'll get a desk job in four years instead of re-enlisting. Who knows? That's definitely some great food for thought, geez, it's a good thing you guys sell food at these bars. Ha, helps with the nausea and gives a great excuse to talk about something other than what they hell I'm going to do next in a fucking desert.
Exactly, everything's just coming from another experience. Nothing comes from nothing. What was that, from high school chemistry, thermodynamics? Energy and whatnot, freakish how things just come full circle like that. Even life is like that. Babies don't just spring up outta nowhere. You say the sperm and eggs are alive too? They've just been there, from other cells and everything. I've got to admit, you're a pretty damn interesting bartender. Ah, a philosophy major. Yea, I guess there's not too much else to do with that. Hell, let me tell you, it sure beats the fuck out of worrying about getting blown to bits every night that you go to bed in a foreign country halfway around the world.
War really makes you think how weird we are as people. Everyone's always hoping for better things, but they never learn from those experiences we were just talking about. People always want something more, something better, but as soon as they get it, nope. Right back to wanting something newer, bigger, better again. I guess it's that constantly changing thing. If we're not the same person from any instant to the next, how can we expect to always want the same things. Makes sense, we change and so do the things we want. You finally get a car and a job and suddenly you're free! Then you're trying to get an apartment and suddenly you have payments due everything month, so you jump from having all these new freedoms to just letting that freedom imprison you even more.
I know I never heard anyone complain more than my parents growing up. All the expenses of having a house and family. Paying for doctors appointments and house payments. That ying-yang thing may be onto something. Opposites attract and make each other. Yea, exactly, even the deeper things in life are like that. You can't die unless you're alive and you can't live unless you've never existed. Kind of frightening stuff but you come to think about life a lot more when you could lose your's any day in my line of work. Although I heard an Afghan villager tell some of us something that was really different. I hated what he said at first, but as the days went on I ended thinking about it more. We were in a raid at a house and someone accidentally killed the villager. Someone heard a noise from a room in the house that we were checking that was supposed to have been cleared. Like I said earlier, in these situations you shoot first and then ask later. So we tossed a grenade into the room to make sure we weren't about to get pinned in a crossfire. When it was all said and done we saw it had just been the villager running from one room into another.
It was only when I saw him lying there dead that what he said really started to make an impression on me. He had said that there's nothing to fear when it comes to death. We're alive so that we can die and even if death is nothingness we still have nothing to worry about. No one stresses over all the time and things that happened before they were born, so why should we be upset about what happens when we don't exist again? The future and the past really aren't that different from one another if you take the time to think about it. Looking at the absurdity of the whole thing just made it hit home. Maybe this war was meaningless in the grand scheme of things. It didn't matter any more why we were there. I couldn't give a shit what the politicians were saying, trying to get one another elected, that didn't matter, they weren't sweating in the hundred and ten degree weather. What mattered was that this man died, doing nothing else than trying to get back to his family when he saw foreign soldiers in his house. Now he was dead and it was just as permanent and straightforward as knowing that when the clock hits midnight tonight this day will never exist again.
That's when I decided it really didn't matter if the war was pointless. I could make it worthwhile for myself. That realization that I was going to die finally really hit me. Sure, I may die there, but I could die fifty years from now too. Did the length of time I spent breathing and eating really matter? That's why I'm re-enlisting. I could die tomorrow and it's not going to change how the world goes on. What I can do is try to bring food to those Afghan families without it. I can try to stop all the opium dealers in Afghanistan selling drugs that are killing people throughout the world. So maybe soldier isn't the right title for me. Sure, I've killed people. I will probably kill people in the future too. Does that make me a murder? If I save one more person from starvation than I kill am I in the positive when I die and people decide if I was a good person? Maybe that first kill, the face no one can forget when their buddies pat them on the back from shooting down an armed insurgent, is what taints me for eternity as a villan. If so, why should I worry about it? If I've already damned myself absolutely why try to do something that's not going to reset the threshold?
There's no point to that kind of an absolutist belief. Once a murderer always a murderer is the least productive attitude anyone could have when it comes to war. If I can never be forgiven for something I've done what incentive do I have to make something positive in the world? I can't believe that kind of thing. Seeing what I've seen I have to think that as we change we're constantly able to do something different. We have that freedom to be different today then we were yesterday. It's great too. It's a freedom no one can take from us. It doesn't matter if you were in the Taliban or a school teacher. For people to think you're going to act a certain way because of what you've done is dangerous. Yea, you're completely right. It is those experiences that make me what we are. Maybe those experiences don't make us a better killer if we're soldiers though. Maybe it'll make me realize all the damage I've done in this world. Maybe my experiences can make me want to take what I've done and make it better. I've got to hope I can keep changing. After all, I wasn't born into having blood on my hands. I can see myself doing more good. Hopefully those higher ups that I have to answer to can too. Maybe one day we'll ship more books into a country than weapons. Imagine that, soldiers armed with books and not guns, giving them to children instead of taking the lives of their parents. I think that's a future we can all drink to.
Thanks and Stay Tuned
I just wanted to thank everyone for your comments on the first bit of the saga. I promise my post today will be much earlier than the one yesterday. As for the direction of the story, I can already assure you the soldier will be staying around for at least a few more moral issues, I don't plan on getting rid of him too quickly. As always, I take all of our posts into consideration, and love to her what you have to say. Stay tuned, and as always, let people know about the blog!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Day 1, 1,753 words
Can you believe the nerve of him? Thank you for being the one decent guy here. I guess since it's your job you're a bit more obligated to not take sides. Still, it's nice to think not every guy at a bar is just trying to get lucky. Yes, I will have another and no, please do not put it on his tab. I wouldn't want to give him that joy. Look at him, sitting back there still glancing this way, pathetic. Like I'm going to walk over there, chauvinistic pig.
Anyways, I do love what you've done with the bar. I agree completely, the atmosphere is just contemporary enough that it's not too sterile. Everyone needs a nice break now and then from how compartmentalized these airports are, Frankfurt especially. I've also got to give you credit for always being here so late. How many airport bars do you find the same bartender at every time during the week? I don't feel like you're the bartender I see when I'm traveling for work, I feel like you're the bartender down the street from my house. No, I promise. I don't drink a lot, just frequently.
I'm sure you've seen all kinds of characters in here at this hour. Considering you're just about the only bar open all night. Ah, now who's this walking in? Ha, funny how soldiers are the only ones willing to wear their work clothes out. Oh my, here comes a whole platoon. Well, sadly in my experience soldiers can be far worse than our friend who's still over there trying to buy me a drink. I'll see you again next week, but please warn me if my admirer has been scoping out the bar next time. Oh no, I insist, that tip is the least I could give for you shooing away that creep earlier.
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Hi. Yes sir, I'd love a glass of whatever's the special for tonight. A lambic,awesome! Ah, that, that is a great beer. What happened to that lovely lady that was just here? Did we scare her away? Well, no worries, from what I can tell, you have plenty of interesting people here to talk to. Yes, I am indeed an American solider. I have to admit, it's nice to get some R&R here in Germany. Afghanistan is beat. There's no other way to put it. Hot, deadly, and a foreign land no, I promise, I'm not describing my wife. You really do have an interesting personality. Oh yea, I agree completely, you are certainly in the right line of work. I've got to give you credit for that. In my line of work I don't have to even try to be witty. Shoot first and ask questions later is our philosophy. Believe me, it's saved my life on more than one occasion.
So you've been listening to the television reports. Let me tell you, embedded journalists don't know the half of it. We always try to keep them out of harm's way. Can you blame us? Imagine having an extra person to worry about being shot, no training, just thrown in there, always thinking they can just keep filming the things that are going on. Do you have any idea the stress that puts on us? We've got to keep ourselves alive, worry about our squad mates, try to carry out whatever mission we've been assigned to, and here comes happy Joe Blow, straight from New York city, with no war experience, trying to give us shit for shooting instead of talking. Firstly, unless you've been to Afghanistan you have no idea how frightening it can be from the get-go. Hardly anyone speaks English, people aren't even worshipping the same God as you. I might've well been deployed to Mars. No amount of training will prepare you for that place. I can see why the Russians spent a decade there only to have their asses handed to them.
Now, what you've got to realize is that we do a lot more than just shoot at people. I wouldn't have signed on for another tour of duty if I didn't think I was actually accomplishing something. I'm sorry, but risking your life every day is stressful. If I didn't feel I changed someone's life every now and then I don't think I could keep doing it. No, I completely understand where you're coming from. I've heard that argument a lot, especially from the U.N. troops there. It makes sense, we can't be too prideful in simply fighting for our country. After all, pride is one of those seven deadly sins, and I'd rather know I was in good shape with my maker than just jump when my Lieutenant said jump. Heaven is a slightly better reward than a pay raise.
There's a lot of great things we do every day. We've brought drinking water and schools to thousands of people. We've provided steady electricity to places that only sporadically got it a few years ago. We've been in the middle east long enough to see some real changes. Women are having more of a say in their culture, something that has always really seemed strange to me over there. Women can't even drive a car in some places. You can imagine the looks they give to our female soldiers. Can I get an order of the stuffed zucchini, after I get to munch on something I would be happy to keep talking.
No no, I'm open to criticism, but I expect a level of respect at the same time. After all, we're all just trying to live our lives. Who's to say your job as a bartender is any more ethical than my job as a soldier. Sure, you're not holding a gun, and potentially killing someone in an instant. You have to remember, I'm not going out to kill people either. The liquor you pour is just as potent a killer when people don't treat it with respect. My job is no different. If you don't respect someone with a gun, you stand a good chance of losing your life. That's the biggest problem any soldier has. So many of us have this attitude that we've been trained, we're the best of the best; that sometimes they lose that basic respect for the power of a bullet. Any gun can kill just as quickly as any other. It doesn't matter who's behind the trigger, the result's the same.
Ah, now hold up. I know where you're going with this. Yes, it is difficult. When your superior officer gives you an order what do you do when you yourself don't like the result. Well, you really don't have too much of a join when you're in the service. If you don't carry it out it's trouble for you. Yes, I do know about the Nuremberg Trials. Ha, when was the last time an American soldier tried to use that defense in court. It just doesn't hold up buddy. Sure we can try enemy combatants for things like that, but when it comes to our own, it's a lovely double standard that I can't fucking stand. I guess the Nuremberg Trials are a decent thing. After all, it's not the commanding officers that have to go about committing unspeakable things, it's the grunts in the field doing things. You've got to remember though, when you're in the line of fire your friends expect you to cover their ass above anything. If there's a shred of doubt in their minds that you wouldn't do something just because it might hurt someone else they're going to lose that trust that you'll make sure they make it home. I know, who's to say a soldier's life is worth more than some Afghan child, but when bullets are flying you don't have time to sit down and guess what Stuart Mill's Great Happiness Principle would have you do in the situation. It's purely survival instinct, you're in situation that's been part of mankind since the dawn of our species. It's a state that happened before we were able to question what's ethical and what's not.
Ha, you think ethics has always been around? Let me tell you, if you spent one minute in a firefight with insurgents willing to kill you, you wouldn't give to seconds thought to shooting the fuckers as fast as you could. Everything's out the window when you're life's on the line. There's no time to think. Like I said, it's that weird time when you realize you're no different than the ancestors that bashed each other's heads in with rocks to see who could win the girl or the meal for the night.
It's primitive and animal-like, but something completely beyond any academic ethicists bullshit. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think we should go around killing each other for fun or anything. I'm glad we have standards in place to keep people in check. You just have to realize, you can't act the same in every situation. There is no golden rule because there is no golden scenario. We can't all live in polite and tidy mansions selling stocks. Some people are going to die at the end of the day and others are going to grow rich and fat. That's life. It'll never change. Sure, I'm all for stopping as many people from dying as possible, but it's not something that's ever going to happen. You have to take steps toward it as the best you can do.
I remember there was a math class I took in high school, I think it was pre-calculus. The teacher started talking about how if he stood in the center of the room and kept walking half as far to the door, would he ever get there? Of course, a bunch of students said yes, but as he got closer, he was eventually so close he couldn't physically move without touching the wall. That's kind of where I think we've gotten to as a species. We don't drop nuclear bombs on each other and act saintly, but we've gotten so close to the wall that we can't notice the tiny improvements we can making. It'll always seem like we're doing awful things, unless you compare it to all the great things we've done. Being in a war I think I can safely say we do more good than bad, and at the end of the day that's all you can hope for, improvement, not perfection.
Anyways, I do love what you've done with the bar. I agree completely, the atmosphere is just contemporary enough that it's not too sterile. Everyone needs a nice break now and then from how compartmentalized these airports are, Frankfurt especially. I've also got to give you credit for always being here so late. How many airport bars do you find the same bartender at every time during the week? I don't feel like you're the bartender I see when I'm traveling for work, I feel like you're the bartender down the street from my house. No, I promise. I don't drink a lot, just frequently.
I'm sure you've seen all kinds of characters in here at this hour. Considering you're just about the only bar open all night. Ah, now who's this walking in? Ha, funny how soldiers are the only ones willing to wear their work clothes out. Oh my, here comes a whole platoon. Well, sadly in my experience soldiers can be far worse than our friend who's still over there trying to buy me a drink. I'll see you again next week, but please warn me if my admirer has been scoping out the bar next time. Oh no, I insist, that tip is the least I could give for you shooing away that creep earlier.
————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-
Hi. Yes sir, I'd love a glass of whatever's the special for tonight. A lambic,awesome! Ah, that, that is a great beer. What happened to that lovely lady that was just here? Did we scare her away? Well, no worries, from what I can tell, you have plenty of interesting people here to talk to. Yes, I am indeed an American solider. I have to admit, it's nice to get some R&R here in Germany. Afghanistan is beat. There's no other way to put it. Hot, deadly, and a foreign land no, I promise, I'm not describing my wife. You really do have an interesting personality. Oh yea, I agree completely, you are certainly in the right line of work. I've got to give you credit for that. In my line of work I don't have to even try to be witty. Shoot first and ask questions later is our philosophy. Believe me, it's saved my life on more than one occasion.
So you've been listening to the television reports. Let me tell you, embedded journalists don't know the half of it. We always try to keep them out of harm's way. Can you blame us? Imagine having an extra person to worry about being shot, no training, just thrown in there, always thinking they can just keep filming the things that are going on. Do you have any idea the stress that puts on us? We've got to keep ourselves alive, worry about our squad mates, try to carry out whatever mission we've been assigned to, and here comes happy Joe Blow, straight from New York city, with no war experience, trying to give us shit for shooting instead of talking. Firstly, unless you've been to Afghanistan you have no idea how frightening it can be from the get-go. Hardly anyone speaks English, people aren't even worshipping the same God as you. I might've well been deployed to Mars. No amount of training will prepare you for that place. I can see why the Russians spent a decade there only to have their asses handed to them.
Now, what you've got to realize is that we do a lot more than just shoot at people. I wouldn't have signed on for another tour of duty if I didn't think I was actually accomplishing something. I'm sorry, but risking your life every day is stressful. If I didn't feel I changed someone's life every now and then I don't think I could keep doing it. No, I completely understand where you're coming from. I've heard that argument a lot, especially from the U.N. troops there. It makes sense, we can't be too prideful in simply fighting for our country. After all, pride is one of those seven deadly sins, and I'd rather know I was in good shape with my maker than just jump when my Lieutenant said jump. Heaven is a slightly better reward than a pay raise.
There's a lot of great things we do every day. We've brought drinking water and schools to thousands of people. We've provided steady electricity to places that only sporadically got it a few years ago. We've been in the middle east long enough to see some real changes. Women are having more of a say in their culture, something that has always really seemed strange to me over there. Women can't even drive a car in some places. You can imagine the looks they give to our female soldiers. Can I get an order of the stuffed zucchini, after I get to munch on something I would be happy to keep talking.
No no, I'm open to criticism, but I expect a level of respect at the same time. After all, we're all just trying to live our lives. Who's to say your job as a bartender is any more ethical than my job as a soldier. Sure, you're not holding a gun, and potentially killing someone in an instant. You have to remember, I'm not going out to kill people either. The liquor you pour is just as potent a killer when people don't treat it with respect. My job is no different. If you don't respect someone with a gun, you stand a good chance of losing your life. That's the biggest problem any soldier has. So many of us have this attitude that we've been trained, we're the best of the best; that sometimes they lose that basic respect for the power of a bullet. Any gun can kill just as quickly as any other. It doesn't matter who's behind the trigger, the result's the same.
Ah, now hold up. I know where you're going with this. Yes, it is difficult. When your superior officer gives you an order what do you do when you yourself don't like the result. Well, you really don't have too much of a join when you're in the service. If you don't carry it out it's trouble for you. Yes, I do know about the Nuremberg Trials. Ha, when was the last time an American soldier tried to use that defense in court. It just doesn't hold up buddy. Sure we can try enemy combatants for things like that, but when it comes to our own, it's a lovely double standard that I can't fucking stand. I guess the Nuremberg Trials are a decent thing. After all, it's not the commanding officers that have to go about committing unspeakable things, it's the grunts in the field doing things. You've got to remember though, when you're in the line of fire your friends expect you to cover their ass above anything. If there's a shred of doubt in their minds that you wouldn't do something just because it might hurt someone else they're going to lose that trust that you'll make sure they make it home. I know, who's to say a soldier's life is worth more than some Afghan child, but when bullets are flying you don't have time to sit down and guess what Stuart Mill's Great Happiness Principle would have you do in the situation. It's purely survival instinct, you're in situation that's been part of mankind since the dawn of our species. It's a state that happened before we were able to question what's ethical and what's not.
Ha, you think ethics has always been around? Let me tell you, if you spent one minute in a firefight with insurgents willing to kill you, you wouldn't give to seconds thought to shooting the fuckers as fast as you could. Everything's out the window when you're life's on the line. There's no time to think. Like I said, it's that weird time when you realize you're no different than the ancestors that bashed each other's heads in with rocks to see who could win the girl or the meal for the night.
It's primitive and animal-like, but something completely beyond any academic ethicists bullshit. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think we should go around killing each other for fun or anything. I'm glad we have standards in place to keep people in check. You just have to realize, you can't act the same in every situation. There is no golden rule because there is no golden scenario. We can't all live in polite and tidy mansions selling stocks. Some people are going to die at the end of the day and others are going to grow rich and fat. That's life. It'll never change. Sure, I'm all for stopping as many people from dying as possible, but it's not something that's ever going to happen. You have to take steps toward it as the best you can do.
I remember there was a math class I took in high school, I think it was pre-calculus. The teacher started talking about how if he stood in the center of the room and kept walking half as far to the door, would he ever get there? Of course, a bunch of students said yes, but as he got closer, he was eventually so close he couldn't physically move without touching the wall. That's kind of where I think we've gotten to as a species. We don't drop nuclear bombs on each other and act saintly, but we've gotten so close to the wall that we can't notice the tiny improvements we can making. It'll always seem like we're doing awful things, unless you compare it to all the great things we've done. Being in a war I think I can safely say we do more good than bad, and at the end of the day that's all you can hope for, improvement, not perfection.
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